BATMAN COLORFORMS AND MY DAD

TALES FROM THE TOY CHEST

Stories of Childhood Triumph and Tragedy

By
John "THE MEGO STRETCH HULK" Cimino

CASE NUMBER: 6730-CC
BATMAN COLORFORMS AND MY DAD

Age:  4 Years

Date: 1977

Place: Osco Drugs

Location: Waltham, Massachusetts

I have always been an individualist and an anomaly as a little kid (hell, I still am today). I had some friends, but I usually did things alone and created my own worlds to play in. I liked being in my head rather than in the real world around me because to be honest, I had a BIG imagination. To me, it was much more fun this way. Kids in school always wanted to be doing things the older kids did just to fit in or to be accepted. I never succumbed to peer pressure and no matter how weird or otherworldly I got, I was always pretty popular with everyone. But for the life of me I never had a clue why? Looking back on my childhood today, I get a kick out of the stuff I did and got away with. I can't help but wonder why I acted and did the things I did. Was it all the cartoons I watched? Was it all the comics I had? Was it all the toys I played with?

Nope. It was because of my dad.

My dad came to America from Sicily back in the early 1960's with his parents and 6 brothers and sisters. His father was very sick (he died just a year later) and since he was the oldest son (20 years at this time) he had to provide for them. Life was always very tough for my dad because even as a young child in Sicily he had to work long back-breaking hours for little to no money and his family was so poor that they sometimes ate just one meal a day. Now working three jobs in America to provide for his fatherless family must have been excruciating. He even tried to take off from his responsibilities and enlist into the Army to go fight in Vietnam but he got rejected because his mother pleaded to the draft about his financial dependency needed for the well being of his brothers and sisters (that must of sucked). He barely had any schooling but he was a real hard/honest worker who had a gift for using his hands. He eventually built a plumbing company from nothing that is highly respected today and has been in business for over 40 years. It's a tale truly worthy of the American dream.

But as great as that was for my dad, it wasn't so great  for me and my older brother. Living such a tough life made my father a hard man with very little emotional understanding. For him it was work, work, work and nothing more. He was the type of guy who had very little patience (especially for us) and could lash out on the drop of a dime (I could go on to tell some horror stories of some of the beatings I took and how hard I worked as a youth but I don't need to). He provided for us and put food on the table and for that I will forever be grateful. But I just wish I could have played with him, got a hug from him or even heard him say he loved me (he never has even to this day). Instead, I was scared to death of him and I usually stayed in my room when he was home. My mom was the one who gave me and my brother the love and nurturing we craved...but to be honest, I wanted it from him. He barely ever talked to me and when he did it was usually to make me do something.

So staying in my room was the norm for me and to escape I lived in my worlds of wonder. To most people this would seem kind of sad for a kid to do this but I actually had a lot of fun. I had my comics, toys and superheroes that were my real friends and I loved them.

One day, my father came home from work early as my mother and brother went to the dentist (I think). He made me some food and as usual we both sat there eating without speaking a word to each other. He then told me we had to go to the Osco Drugs up the street so he could pick something up. I can't remember what he wanted, but this was the first time I was ever with my father at a store alone. I was always with my mother so it was almost surreal to me. Usually, I would just run to the toy isle and my mother would catch up later, but this time it was different. I dare not do that with my father as I just followed behind him as fast as my little legs could carry me. Somehow I came to the toy isle end-cap as my father was looking at something nearby. When I looked up, I saw some Batman Colorforms. The box looked awesome and the way the end-cap displayed it captured my imagination (I'm such an easy sell). I took it off the shelf to take a closer look. Here was the mighty Batman looking so proud, I could only imagine what fun lurked within this box. I wanted it of course, but I wasn't going to ask my father for it. I was too scared and I don't think he even knew who Batman or a toy was for that matter. But amazingly when he finished what he was doing he asked me if I wanted the Colorforms and I shockingly said "yes". Soon enough, I followed my father to the cashier line and he bought me my first toy ever!! I was in utter-shock because of this. Sure, it was my father's money that was providing all the other toys and such that I got with my mother, but never had I gotten something personally with him. And the funny thing is that I don't even remember playing with the Batman Colorforms today because the events that lead to me getting them is what left a forever impression. This was so HUGE in my young mind that I've never forgotten it.

Now this little story is by no means intended on putting my father down, this is actually my way of honoring him. He was a man who has to be respected on so many levels because as time went on I realized that my father was doing the best that he could with what he knew. He wasn't a bad guy, he was just a hard guy because he had such a tough life. He never had the chance to be a kid and understand the magic of youth so I can forgive him for our relationship. I'm thankful for all that he has given me and I will always honor that. Today, age and my daughter has made him a lot more calmer, nicer and less serious because he does things with her I would never have imagined (sometimes it brings tears to my eyes) and I'm happy that he's trying in his own way. We talk more and I've grown to understand him more. But to tell you the truth, I still don't think he has any clue who Batman is...

THE END??

As for the Batman Colorforms, I was later shocked to find out that it first came out in 1966 and was later reissued and released in 1976. So despite the greater value of the 1966 set, I'll always think the 1976 set will be the more valuable (at least to me). And just to let you know, my father came home from hunting one time a few years later after this story took place and brought home two boxed Mego Spider-man's for me and my brother. That was a great surprise and a fun gift!

Thanks dad.


To be continued...




Other Tales From the Toy Chest:

THE HULK ROLLER SKATES DEBACLE
http://hero-envy.blogspot.com/2011/11/hulk-roller-skates-debacle.html 

THE STEALING OF THE SUPERHERO STAND UPS
http://hero-envy.blogspot.com/2011/11/stealing-of-superhero-stand-ups.html 

IN SEARCH OF THE "HOLY GRAIL" OF HULK

http://hero-envy.blogspot.com/2011/06/in-search-of-holy-grail-of-hulk.html

John "The Mego Stretch Hulk" Cimino - "Hero Envy" Central

John Cimino is a Silver and Bronze Age comic, cartoon and memorabilia expert that contributes articles to BACK ISSUE Magazine from TwoMorrows Publishing and has written and starred in the "Hero Envy" webisode series. He is also the host of the Reckless Sidekick "Swass-Cast" and has contributed to the "Hero Envy" comic book. He also thinks he's really Captain Marvel, people just don't have the heart to tell him he's just an obsessed fanboy that borders on the insane. Contact him at johnstretch@live.com and let him know.

THE STEALING OF THE SUPERHERO STAND UPS

TALES FROM THE TOY CHEST

Stories of Childhood Triumph and Tragedy

By

John "THE MEGO STRETCH HULK" Cimino

CASE NUMBER: 68891-Q

THE STEALING OF THE SUPERHERO STAND UPS!

Age: 8 years

Date: 1981

Place: MacArthur Elementary School 2nd grade

Location: Waltham, Massachusetts

Okay, I'll admit it, I wasn't the most “normal” kid when I was a wee young lad. I was wild, free, imaginative and a total spaz (kinda like I still am today). But when I was younger I had a lot less control of myself and my desire for anything Superheroes was always in full effect. I'm not kidding, I wanted to literally be The Hulk 24-7. I occasionally wanted to be Thor, Sub-Mariner, Daredevil or Spider-man but it was the Hulk that was at the top of my “who I had to be” list. I would cut up my “Toughskin jeans” and run around the neighborhood shirtless and barefoot and play the Hulk all day long (even during cold weather). When the kids on my street (mostly girls) played “school” or “store”, I would of course be the Hulk and try to fit into their scenarios but eventually Hulk had to SMASH! When I was in kindergarten I can remember the teacher, Mrs. O'Reilly yelling at me saying “John could you be human just for once!” so she could have some peace from my constant Hulk role-playing. I would even go to my friend Frankie's house and we would swim in his huge underground pool and play our made up game called “Underwater Armageddon” and have a "Hulk vs Sub-Mariner" slugfest! In this game we would jump into the bottom of the deep end of the pool, hold our breath as long as we could and fight it out! First one to go back up for air was the loser. I usually won, especially when I was the Hulk because my ego was always involved! My Hulk obsession got so bad that the kids near my house didn't want to play with me all the time. So I would just run around my neighborhood all day with my proud cut up kiddie jeans and scream at the top of my lungs with all the gamma-spawned power that fueled my scrawny body. Sure this may seem a little extreme to some but no one could argue about all the fun that I had.

The game I played with Frankie called "Underwater Armageddon" was based off this Hulk portfolio image by Steve Fastner and Bill Larsen from 1980. We couldn't help but try to act it out in the deep end of his pool.

Being in school was no different. I daydreamed all day long of superhero battles rather than coming back into reality and learning about addition and subtraction. At this time in my life I walked into my second grade classroom on a Monday morning and I happened to see Robin, Joker, Catwoman and Penguin stand ups stuck to the top of the chalk board. I remembered I played the hell out of these stand ups until they were destroyed about a year ago, but to see them in school, and all brand new...I was startled! So, I asked the teacher what those were for and she said we will be selling our school calenders for the week and each student that sells ten of them will get to choose from one of these stand ups as a prize. There was no Batman stand up in sight so I turned my attention to the Robin one and of course, I wanted him badly! I had only a week to sell ten calenders, but I also had to beat out all the other boys in my class because I knew the Robin stand up was the most desirable (I didn't really mind the girls because I knew they would want the Catwoman).

These are all the Batman Stand Ups that was available in this set. Unfortunately the Batman one was missing so I turned my attention to the Robin and total chaos would soon follow.

Once I got home I started harassing my parents and neighbors into buying these calenders. With them being five bucks each, they were no bargain. I could only manage to sell three that day!! ARRGGHH! On Wednesday a kid named Dennis was the first to make the quota and I was terrified that he was going to pick the Robin so I cunningly talked/manipulated him into taking the Joker (man, I'm good). So thankfully, the Robin was still up for grabs. I tried to sell off more calenders when I got home, but after three days I only managed to sell a meager five of them. On Thursday a girl named Kristin made the quota and as predicted she picked the Catwoman. I now had only one day to sell five more calenders so I could get that blasted Robin stand up. I ran home at the end of school and went back into selling mode. I traveled a lot further than I was allowed to, in the end I managed to sell exactly five more calenders to get the ten total!! YAAHHOOO!! Tomorrow Robin was going to be all mine!!

When I entered school the next morning I found out another kid named Timmy managed to also sell ten calenders. I was shocked!! I tried to convince him to pick the Penguin, but he was undecided so I knew we both may be going into a battle over the Robin. I couldn't take the chance so I took the initiative and went straight up to the teacher before class started and I asked her if I could have the Robin because I sold the calenders. She said I would have to wait until class started so she could announce to them that Timmy and I both had each sold the ten calenders. As “bad” luck would have it, after the announcement she called on Timmy to pick what stand up he wanted first and of course the bastard picked Robin!! I was furious about it and even more furious that I got the lame-ass Penguin!! Who the hell cares about the Penguin?? Certainly not me!! I wish I never talked Dennis into taking the Joker a few days earlier because he would've been a great second choice...UGGHH!!! The events that followed are kind of a blur because when the the teacher awarded me the Penguin stand up I had a case of potty mouth. And before I knew it she took back the Penguin stand up and sent me to the principles office. Man, I'm such an idiot!

Waiting for the principle, Mr. Cronin was scary. As a kid, during those days, getting into trouble was a big deal. It was almost like waiting for your execution. He was busy in his office dealing with some other unruly kids and I could hear him yelling at them (I remember they were twins and one of them was actually named Thor! I thought that was the coolest thing ever). Jeez, this is going to suck. When he came out he told me to wait in his office and he would return shortly. As I sat there I just stared at his desk and thought of how many kids might have died in here. Then at that moment, I looked down and saw a box filled with a bunch of packages of superhero stand ups. And to my amazement they were packages of Marvel Superhero Stand Ups!! HOLY MOLEY!!! Packages of grandeur filled with Captain America, Spider-man, Thor, Iron man and ...gulp...THE HULK!!! I've never seen so many packages of these in my life! It was almost too much for my young mind to comprehend. Why were they here and more importantly how was I going to get one? I couldn't ask Mr. Cronin, he was about to punish me and I couldn't ask my teacher because she was mad at me too. It was such bad timing, but I was not going to be denied. Desperate times calls for desperate measures (and I was so obsessively desperate). I was thinking the unthinkable, I was going to steal at least one of these packages here and now and make off like all the super villains that I loathed. Hey, these weren't DC stand ups that were in front of me, they were Marvel ones and Marvel Stand Ups were pieces of heaven in my mind. So, I put one pack under my shirt, but like every villain, I got greedy and then proceeded to stuff at least five more under my shirt. If I thought I was scared before I must have been terrified now as I waited for Mr. Cronin to return.

When my young eyes saw these packages of Marvel Stand Ups I was in shock. As soon as I noticed the Hulk stand up in it, I knew it was all over for me. I had to have it!

When Mr. Cronin did return he seemed to be in a better mood and I just stood there listening to him trying not to move much so he wouldn't notice all the packages under my shirt. I can't really remember our conversation, but I think I made him laugh a little. When he was done, we both got up and as he walked me out of his office...all the packages of the stand ups fell out of my shirt and onto the floor between us. Just like in a movie, and that instantaneously. It was so absolutely horrifying that I wanted to pass out! Mr. Cronin looked at me in total shock! Man, I thought I just escaped the fiery pits of the Apocalypse and now within a few seconds, I was right back in them.

Now the rest of this story may be a let down to some of you, but for the life of me I cannot remember what happened next. Maybe I just blocked it all out because it was so painful, maybe I jumped into a parallel universe and escaped or maybe I did get executed and this is a ghost writing down the memory of it to you. Either way, I don't remember. I do remember however that I never did get the Penguin stand up back and a few years later, I actually found another box filled with about ten of these Marvel Stand Up packages in it at a toy show and laughed while I bought them all (and yes, I did buy them). The great thing is that I still have them today and every time I see those packages in my collection, I can't help but think of how crazy I was to try and steal these things out of the principles office.

THE END?

So what can I say to the young peeps out there in dreamland? Never be a villain no matter how super you think it is because you'll either get caught or somehow you'll mess it up. And to be honest, I still play "Underwater Armageddon" in pools when no ones looking...I'm lying, I play even if they are...

To Be Continued...


I have all these items in my collection but I was too lazy to dig them out and take pics of them so a shout out to www.plaidstallions.com for making my life a little easier.



Other Tales From the Toy Chest:

THE HULK ROLLER SKATES DEBACLE
http://hero-envy.blogspot.com/2011/11/hulk-roller-skates-debacle.html 

 BATMAN COLORFORMS AND MY DAD

http://hero-envy.blogspot.com/2011/11/batman-colorforms-and-my-dad.html

IN SEARCH OF THE HOLY GRAIL OF HULK

http://hero-envy.blogspot.com/2011/06/in-search-of-holy-grail-of-hulk.html

John "The Mego Stretch Hulk" Cimino - "Hero Envy" Central

John Cimino is a Silver and Bronze Age comic, cartoon and memorabilia expert that contributes articles to BACK ISSUE Magazine from TwoMorrows Publishing and has written and starred in the "Hero Envy" webisode series. He is also the host of the Reckless Sidekick "Swass-Cast" and has contributed to the "Hero Envy" comic book. He also thinks he's really Captain Marvel, people just don't have the heart to tell him he's just an obsessed fanboy that borders on the insane. Contact him at johnstretch@live.com and let him know.

THE HULK ROLLER SKATES DEBACLE

TALES FROM THE TOY CHEST

Stories of Childhood Triumph and Tragedy

By

John "THE MEGO STRETCH HULK" Cimino

CASE NUMBER: 3478-B 

THE HULK ROLLER SKATES DEBACLE!!

Age: 6 years
Date: 1979
Store: Osco Drugs
Location: Waltham, Massachusetts.

The Osco Drugs in my town was awesome! It always had great superhero toys and at this time in my life, for some reason, I wanted the Hulk roller skates. I loved how ugly they were and how horrible the commercial was for them. I was so obsessed to get them, at any cost!! And when I'm obsessed, I can't think of anything else!!! I would rather die than live without it (stupid I know, but hey, I'm stupid)!!! First time I saw those roller skates in person I was alone in the toy isle (it's the 70's and nobody watches their kids). I actually took the skates out of the box and took the box to show my mother (who was grocery shopping at Star Market next door) what I wanted. As I was walking outside I got stopped by a man who was an undercover security cop. I told the guy that I was just showing my mother the box so she would come back and buy it for me. The guy actually let me go to find my mother with the empty box. But I never went back to Osco's that day and kept the box (I have no idea why my mom let me get away with it). So for the next few weeks I pretended that I had those skates (because I had the box) and I put my other Hulk toys in it just to make it "official" (in my head anyway).

Eventually, I went back with my mother to the Osco and when we went together to the toy isle. I showed her the skates I wanted and for some reason she wouldn't get them for me. Even to this day, I still don't know why she wouldn't get them for me (maybe she thought I was going to break my neck because you had to spin backwards to stop rolling...yes, you read that right). I started to cry and beg and cry and beg and cry and beg, but she continually said no. She said I had to pick something else and I picked the Hulk Clay Modeling Set from Coloforms, but I wasn't happy about it. I was complaining the whole time while my mother continued to shop. Finally in the checkout line, my mom blew a gasket!! She went nuts on me and said I couldn't get anything!! I started saying, "No mom please!! I want the Hulk Modeling Set, I'm sorry!! Please mom, please!!!" She threw the toy and her other items in a basket near the cashier and stormed out of there holding my hand and pulling me out of the store (can you imagine that scene to the people around us? We had to look like friggin' crazed freaks).

When we finally got home I went to my room and packed up my toys and clothes and told my mom I was running away (I'm s-i-x y-e-a-r-s o-l-d). She didn't say a word, I was shocked that she didn't care. So then I locked myself in my room for a few hours. Later she knocked on the door and told me the Hulk television show was on (with Bill Bixby and Lou Ferrigno) and I came out and watched it with my mother and brother. Things went back to normal and I never got those Hulk roller skates until 20 years later and they never worked as good as they did on that blasted commercial. And judging from how many times I fell when I spun around to stop, I really would've broke my neck...hey, thanks mom!

THE END?

Just to let a few of you know, I got the Hulk modeling set a year or two later as a birthday gift from some friends up the street. As you can see on the packaging above it say's "Super Easy!" Well it wasn't, it was "Super Hard!" and I gave up on it after about a 100 tries and never played with the damn thing ever again. Years later I got it off EBay and I was tempted to take another crack at it and open it up and put it together, but the package was still sealed so I passed. Eventually I sold it off with a ton of other stuff from my collection but it's still in the back of my head if I can build that stupid Hulk clay modeling set...

Hulk smashed???

To Be Continued...



Other Tales From the Toy Chest:

THE STEALING OF THE SUPERHERO STAND UPS
http://hero-envy.blogspot.com/2011/11/stealing-of-superhero-stand-ups.html 

BATMAN COLORFORMS AND MY DAD
http://hero-envy.blogspot.com/2011/11/batman-colorforms-and-my-dad.html 

IN SEARCH OF THE HOLY GRAIL OF HULK
http://hero-envy.blogspot.com/2011/06/in-search-of-holy-grail-of-hulk.html

John "The Mego Stretch Hulk" Cimino - "Hero Envy" Central

John Cimino is a Silver and Bronze Age comic, cartoon and memorabilia expert that contributes articles to BACK ISSUE Magazine from TwoMorrows Publishing and has written and starred in the "Hero Envy" webisode series. He is also the host of the Reckless Sidekick "Swass-Cast" and has contributed to the "Hero Envy" comic book. He also thinks he's really Captain Marvel, people just don't have the heart to tell him he's just an obsessed fanboy that borders on the insane. Contact him at johnstretch@live.com and let him know.