"Hero Envy" The Blog Adventures

Monday, June 2, 2014

THE TOP 10 MOST BADASS HEROES EVER

THE TOP 10 MOST

BADASS HEROES EVER

John "THE MEGO STRETCH HULK" Cimino

"There is NOTHING I can do to him that would cause him the agony that he has brought upon others. But I can come CLOSE."

We appreciate Superman, Spider-man, Captain America and the like because they fight crime with a moral code of ethics and hold themselves to a higher standard than most people of the world. These are the type of characters that remain an inspiration to all and define the meaning of "superhero." They fight by the rules and would never lower themselves to the level of their greatest enemies. Yes, we know who these characters are, they taught us right from wrong and no matter how tough times got, they never falter.

But what of those other heroes who always seem to have a hard and nasty edge to them? That certain class of reckless ultra-violent types who’s behavior would be otherwise deplorable, but tend to get healthy nods of respect (and fear) in the superhero world because their ways are channeled through righteous indignation, making them effective tools in the fight against evil, even if their methods are distasteful and given their cause, only marginally acceptable as good. These are the type of characters that became much more prevalent during the Bronze Age of Comics (starting in the early 1970's). They took comic adventures from a more innocent time into a dark and grittier new realm of reality. These "vigilante" or "anti-hero" types became instant fan-favorites with their "take no prisoners" approach to justice and continue to thrive even to this day.

For this write up, I ranked the 10 most badass, anti-heroes, vigilantes, thugs, brutes or whatever you want to call them (let's just be glad they're on our side), and based each character on their; style, look, intimidation, motivation, reputation, brutality, and personality. So don't expect to see those goody-two-shoes heroes that don't want to cross the line because most of these guys -- have no line! I just ranked the baddest of the bad; the ones who want stop evil dead in its tracks -- with no exceptions and by any means necessary...

10.) MARV

"You can scream now if you want."

Marv is a big man with an unusual level of speed which, coupled with his well-developed fighting skills, incredible strength and pain tolerance, allow him to bring down with startling ease nearly anyone who challenges him or breaks his personal code of ethics. He suffers from an unnamed mental condition that causes him to "get confused", which, involves short-term memory loss and possibly hallucinations. He also fears turning into a maniac or psycho killer. Lucille, his parole officer, supplies him with medication (presumably anti-psychotics) through her girlfriend Claire to control these effects of his condition. Claire, a psychiatrist, once tried to analyze him, but he claims she got "too scared."

9.) LOBO

"So that's how you want to play it? Fine. Contract calls for the main man to put on a show for the locals. So one more time: Surrender or die."

Lobo is a Czarnian, and works as an interstellar mercenary and bounty hunter. He only has one rule: once he takes a contract, he finishes it no matter what and no matter how much destruction and blood-shed is involved. He possesses superhuman strength, endurance, durability and healing. He was declared immortal; after he died and went to hell, he proved too much for the demons, and when he was then sent to heaven, he wreaked so much havoc that he was permanently banished from the afterlife.

8.) GHOST RIDER

"Look into my eyes. Your soul is stained by the blood of the innocent. Feel their pain!"

Stunt motorcyclist, Johnny Blaze is a human who can transform into a skeletal superhuman being with a flaming skull and supernatural powers. The motorcycle he rides can travel much faster than conventional motorcycles and can perform seemingly impossible feats (such as scaling the sides of buildings and riding on water). As the Ghost Rider, he possesses immortality, superhuman strength, reflexes and durability. His Mystic Chain inflicts major damage, but it's his "Penance Stare" (that has the ability to inflict upon victims all the pain the victim has caused others) that is his greatest weapon when fighting against the forces of evil and the corrupt.

7.) HELLBOY

"Didn't I kill you already? You goddamned monster!"

Hellboy is a well-meaning demon whose true name is Anung Un Rama ("and upon his brow is set a crown of flame"). He was summoned from Hell to Earth as an infant demon by Nazi occultists during WWII (spawning his hatred for them). He was discovered by the Allied Forces; amongst them, Professor Trevor Bruttenholm who would raise him as a normal boy. In time Hellboy grew to be a large, red-skinned man with a tail, horns (which he files off, leaving behind circular stumps on his forehead), cloven hooves for feet, and an over-sized right hand made of stone. He possesses superhuman strength, healing and endurance and has been described as smelling of dry-roasted peanuts. Although a bit gruff, Hellboy shows none of the malevolence thought to be intrinsic to demons, he has a strong sense of humor and will crack jokes even in the most dire of circumstances. Hellboy is highly-trained and works for the United States Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense (BPRD), an international non-governmental agency, fighting against evil dark forces and supernatural activity.

6.) RORSCHACH

"None of you seem to understand. I'm not locked in here with you... you're locked in here with me!"

Walter Kovacs continues his one-man battle against crime long after superheroes have become both detested and illegal with the persona of Rorschach. Rorschach considers his mask his true "face" and his unmasked persona to be his "disguise." He is extremely right-winged, and morally uncompromising, a viewpoint that has alienated him from the rest of society, even among other superheroes. Rorschach presents his views on right and wrong as starkly black and white with no room for compromise. He holds deep contempt for behavior he considers immoral and is openly derogative of heroes who do not share his unwavering views, deriding them as "soft." Rorschach is well versed in street combat, gymnastics, and boxing. He is also extremely stoic, as shown by his indifference to pain and discomfort. Despite his mental instability, Rorschach is extremely intelligent and was described as "tactically brilliant and unpredictable" by Nite Owl, and possesses surprisingly good detective and lock picking skills.

5.) CONAN

"Crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of their women."

Conan was born on a battlefield and is the son of a village blacksmith. He matured quickly as a youth and, by age fifteen, he was already a respected warrior who had participated in the destruction of the Aquilonian outpost of Venarium. After its demise, he was struck by wanderlust and began legendary adventures, encountering skulking monsters, evil wizards, tavern wenches, and beautiful princesses. He roamed throughout the Hyborian Age nations as a thief, outlaw, mercenary, and pirate. Conan was famous (or infamous) for his great strength, endurance, hand-to-hand fighting skills, and mastery of weapons as well as his occasional "beserker rages" and legendary conquests of the female flesh. As he grew older, he began commanding larger units of men and escalating his ambitions. In his forties, he seized the crown of the tyrannical king of Aquilonia, the most powerful kingdom of the Hyborian Age.

4.) DARKWOLF

"Don't hunt for death boy. It finds us all soon enough."

The mysterious Darkwolf from Ralph Bakshi and Frank Frazetta's animated film Fire and Ice (1983) has a burning hatred for the evil Queen Juliana and her son the megalomaniacal, Nekron. As Neckron magically sends forth waves of glaciers, forcing humanity to retreat south towards the equator, Darkwolf knows it's up to him to stop them or it could mean the end of the world. Possessing extraordinary strength and endurance, Darkwolf is the perfect warrior. He is trained in the arts of war, highly proficient with his axe and in hand-to-hand combat. He is able to enter a "berseker rage" that can overcome even the most powerful of magical control. Darkwolf is also well-versed in the arts of survival, including tracking and hunting making it possible for him to live in the harshest of conditions. He is an intimidating presence to all, enough so that even mad-starving-wolves cower in his presence. While this character never appeared in a comic, those who have seen the animated film will understand that Darkwolf deserves his place among the greatest badasses ever (and if you doubt me, go see it).

3.) THE PUNISHER

"You're a monster, and I'm killing you. It's not complicated."

The Punisher is a relentless and brutal vigilante who employs murder, kidnapping, extortion, coercion, threats of violence, and torture in his war on crime. This extreme method puts him at odds with many heroes within the Marvel Universe. Driven by the deaths of his wife and two children (who were killed by the mob during a shootout in New York City's Central Park), the Punisher wages a one-man war on the mob and all criminals in general by using all manner of conventional war weaponry. He is in peak physical condition and possesses an incredible amount of willpower. As a war veteran and marine of the U.S. military, Frank Castle is a master of martial arts, stealth tactics, espionage, guerrilla warfare, and a wide variety of weapons. And truth be told, although the Punisher isn't the most powerful on this list, he could well be the most feared. How "badass" is that?

2.) WOLVERINE

"I'm the best there is at what I do, but what I do isn't very nice."

Born James Howlett and commonly known as Logan, Wolverine is a mutant who possesses animal-keen senses, enhanced physical capabilities, and a healing factor that allows him to recover from virtually any wound, disease, or toxin at an accelerated rate. It also slows down his aging process and enabled him to survive having the near-indestructible metal adamantium bonded to his skeleton. Wolverine is a no-nonsense, tough, anti-authoritative hero with a willingness to use deadly force to get the job done. He is an absolutely ferocious opponent who will sometimes lapse into a "berserker rage" while in combat. He is highly intelligent, fluent in various languages and an expert in multiple types of weapons, vehicles, computer systems, explosives, and assassination techniques. Due to his extensive training as a soldier, CIA operative, samurai, and spy he is almost unmatched in hand-to-hand combat, having mastered virtually every fighting style on Earth. He is also well versed in pressure points and the art of espionage. Wolverine is so "badass" that he has his very own sound effect--SNIKT!

1.) BATMAN

"By day, I am Bruce Wayne, billionaire philanthropist. At night, criminals, a cowardly and superstitious lot, call me... Batman."

Batman is the secret identity of Bruce Wayne, an American billionaire, industrialist, and philanthropist. Having witnessed the murder of his parents as a child, he swore revenge on criminals, an oath tempered with the greater ideal of justice. As Batman, he operates in Gotham City, assisted by various partners and fights crime with a moral code; he does not kill and he would never use a gun. Although he does not possess any superhuman powers; he is physically at the peak of human ability in dozens of areas, notably strength, endurance, and willpower. Intellectually, he is just as peerless; Batman is one of the world's greatest scientists, criminologists, and tacticians, as well as a master of disguise and escape artistry. He can speak all languages and is regarded as the world's greatest detective. Rather than simply out-fighting his opponents, Batman often uses cunning and planning to outwit them. He is an expert in all forms of fighting and acrobatics, as well as multiple types of weapons, vehicles, computer systems, and explosives. He is arguably a Renaissance man in the sheer variety and depth of his knowledge and skills making him perhaps the most dangerous and intimidating man on earth. I'm sure it's no surprise that Batman is the most "badass" hero (or character for that matter) ever created in fictional fantasy.

Agree? Disagree?? Let's hear it fanboys!

Check out other Hero Envy "Top" Lists:

Top 10 Superhero Capes of All Time
http://hero-envy.blogspot.com/2012/06/top-10-greatest-superhero-capes-of-all.html

Top 10 Greatest Captain America Moments
http://hero-envy.blogspot.com/2015/06/the-top-10-greatest-captain-america.html

Top 10 Most Evil Villains in Comics

http://hero-envy.blogspot.com/2013/01/the-top-10-most-evil-villains-in-comics.html

Top 50 Greatest Marvel Slugfests of All Time (1961-1999)
http://hero-envy.blogspot.com/2011/05/marvels-top-50-greatest-slugfests-of.html

Top 5 Weirdest, Wackiest, Worst and Downright Despicable Cartoons Ever Made
http://hero-envy.blogspot.com/2013/08/the-top-5-weirdest-wackiest-and.html

My Top 20 Greatest Hulk Stories Ever
http://hero-envy.blogspot.com/2016/12/my-top-20-greatest-hulk-stories-ever_3.html

Doctor Who: The Top 5 Greatest Doctors Ever
http://hero-envy.blogspot.com/2014/12/doctor-who-top-5-greatest-doctors-ever.html

My Top 30 Greatest Super Heroes of All Time
http://hero-envy.blogspot.com/2015/01/my-top-30-greatest-super-heroes-of-all.html

The Top 20 Greatest Stretch Figures of All Time
http://hero-envy.blogspot.com/2017/06/the-top-20-stretch-figures-of-all-time.html

The Top 5 Greatest Feats of Strength of The Incredible Hulk
http://hero-envy.blogspot.com/2019/01/the-top-5-greatest-feats-of-strength-of.html

The Top 20 Greatest Legion of Doom/Road Warriors Collectibles of All Time

https://hero-envy.blogspot.com/2021/06/the-top-20-greatest-legion-of-doomroad.html

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

SUPER MARKET SKIRMISH: THE PDQ INCIDENT

TALES FROM THE TOY CHEST

Stories of Childhood Toy Triumph and Tragedy

By
John "THE MEGO STRETCH HULK" Cimino

CASE NUMBER: 41890-Z

SUPER MARKET SKIRMISH: THE PDQ INCIDENT

Age: 9 years

Date: 1982

Place: King's

Location: Watertown, Massachusetts

While driving home with my mother after a long day of shopping at Bradlees, she decided to make a pit stop at King's down the street to get some groceries. What was interesting to me about this was that my mom usually went to the Stop n Shop in the next town of Waltham where I lived. I didn't have a clue why she stopped here. I guess it doesn't really matter, food shopping was food shopping... but little did I know, I was in for another adventure (in my mind anyway).

Walking in with my mom I noticed that King's wasn't like any super market I've ever seen before. I was used to places like Star Market, Waltham Super Market or Stop n Shop but King's was way different than those typical grocery stores. It was like a giant warehouse with food, produce and canned goods all in open cardboard boxes on the shelves for cheap prices. I guess you could say it was like a smaller BJ's or Cosco from what I can remember. But what was even more intriguing to me was that King's had food products I've never seen before.

Enter: PDQ Chocolate Milk Flavoring by Ovaltine. Now, I've seen and drank Nestle Quick chocolate mix with milk many times before, but never PDQ. Maybe this wouldn't have left such a big impression on my young mind, but when my sharp eye noticed a little Spider-man picture on the front of the bottle, I immediately walked over to investigate it.

Taking the jar off the shelf, I looked at it closely and read that "free" inside was one of ten Marvel Super Hero Stickers. As I turned the jar, I saw on the back was a picture of the Spidey sticker available in the set and... gulp... my favorite superhero of all -- The Incredible Hulk! My heart soon began to race. As I looked at the bottom of the bottle, I noticed you could only see the back of the sticker so there was no way I could tell who was on it... ARRGGHHH! I then started to look at the bottom of all the jars on the shelf with no luck, every sticker was face up in the bottle. The only way to see what superhero on each sticker was, was to open the jar and dig for it. But honestly, how could I do that? I guess when you're a super hero child addict like myself, you have to find a way. And I certainly would...

Once I saw the Hulk on the back of this jar it was all over for me.

First thing I did was ask my mother if I could get a jar of this chocolate drink mix. Predictably she said "no." So there was no way I could take a one in ten chance at luck to get the Hulk sticker. What else could I do? Then it hit me -- I will go looking for the Hulk sticker myself. And I won't be playing by societies rules. Today little Johnny Cimino will be playing by his own rules even if it gets him into trouble. He's going to go digging for that Hulk sticker and take him home -- at any cost!!

As my mother walked off I told her I would catch up to her later (it's the early eighties so nobody watches their children). Then I surveyed the area. I noticed there was a small gap between each shelf section. If I was going to go digging through these containers, I had to put the chocolate flavored mix somewhere. That gap was the perfect place to dump it in so I could get to the sticker at the bottom. The biggest problem (besides getting caught) was that I had to dump the ENTIRE contents of the jar on the floor in that space. Oh boy, oh boy... I better get that Hulk sticker as soon as possible because there was going to be a huge mess... gulp!

I had a 1 in 10 chance to get the Hulk sticker...and I was going to get him no matter what the odds were!

I looked around and noticed nobody was in the aisle with me, the moment of truth was at hand. I thought to myself; "Once I get the Hulk sticker, I'm outta here..." I grabbed my first PDQ jar off the shelf and twisted the cap off and then ripped the protective paper seal underneath it (I can clearly remember smelling the fresh chocolate mix). I took another look around before I leaned myself next to the gap between the shelves and poured out the entire chocolate mix into it. I have to say, the fact that the mix were these little chunky pellets/beads made it easier for it to fall between the gap. If it was a powdered mix then it would've been harder to control and it might've fallen anywhere and everywhere (oh, lucky me). Anyway, the first jar was completely empty as the sticker trickled down into my hand. I looked with anticipation -- it was Spider-Man!!! Damn it!! I shoved the sticker in my pocket with frustration. Now I had to do the entire process again. As scared as I was, nothing was going to stop me from getting that Hulk sticker.

I managed to repeat this process again. As the sticker came trickling down it was Captain America... ARRGGH! I did it again, it was Storm... ARRRGGGHHH!! And again, it was another Spider-man... ARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!! I couldn't keep this up. I was starting to become more nervous than before because even though I managed to hide the empty jars behind the unopened ones, the pile of PDQ mix was getting so high between the shelves that it was starting to seep into the aisle. What a disaster!! Time was also running out, my mother had to be close to finishing up her shopping so I had to move faster.

I grabbed another jar, repeated the dastardly process and got -- Spider-man again!!!! I loved Spidey, I always will. But honestly, I HATED him that day! I was getting so mad that I began to cry and pray (in my haste I didn't notice the contradiction that was -- hey, I was only nine years old). Now I was starting to tremble in rage and fear because this was honestly getting ridiculous with all the open jars and chocolate mix on the floor.

I needed a small break to regroup so I quickly ran out of the aisle to see where my mother was and I noticed that she was still shopping gleefully. When she saw me she told me she was almost done and we would be leaving soon. I said okay and as I raced back to the aisle, I knew I had only one more chance.

As I nonchalantly walked to the section, I saw an elderly couple walking in the aisle shopping for stuff. I froze with fear because if they saw the enormous pile of PDQ mix, they would let the manager of the store know about it and put an end to this outrageously obsessive quest I was on. But luckily, they never saw it and walked right past it. I then scooted pass them and returned to the heinous ritual. As I did the starting process of twisting off the cap and then ripping off the paper seal, the couple was still shopping in the aisle. I was pressured for time so I went about the dumping as usual (this time the pile was spilled over and easy to see by everyone) and wouldn't you know it, here comes ol' Jade Jaws himself trickling down the jar and into my hand -- The Incredible Hulk sticker!!! What perfect timing! I couldn't believe it! After emptying six bottles of PDQ mix, I got the sticker I craved, and I was back with my mom walking to the checkout line.

When I got home, I proudly put all the stickers in my sticker book and the Hulk, was of course, the crown jewel of my collection. I made my peace with Spider-man and the next day I stuck one of the Spidey stickers on my pencil box at school. I looked at it every day like a badge of honor (yes, I was deranged and I'm going to Hell). I eventually lost those stickers and my sticker book as well. Years later, scrolling through EBay auctions I saw the entire set of the stickers for sale, and I hastily bought them and still have them to this day.

THE END??

It's funny that I never went back to King's again and it was eventually torn down. Looking back, I have to wonder how I managed to get away with this debacle. Back then many stores didn't have high-tech security cameras, but I was so naively blind to everything around me when it came to superheroes that I just got lucky. And I have to wonder what became of that pile of PDQ chocolate mix. It had to be such a shock for the manager to see and I really do feel bad for the person who had to clean it up... sorry (did I say I was going to Hell).

to be continued...

Other Tales From the Toy Chest:

THE HULK ROLLER SKATES DEBACLE
http://hero-envy.blogspot.com/2011/11/hulk-roller-skates-debacle.html

THE STEALING OF THE SUPERHERO STAND-UPS
http://hero-envy.blogspot.com/2011/11/stealing-of-superhero-stand-ups.html

BATMAN COLORFORMS AND MY DAD

http://hero-envy.blogspot.com/2011/11/batman-colorforms-and-my-dad.html

MY TOP 15 GREATEST TOYS EVER
http://hero-envy.blogspot.com/2013/09/my-top-15-greatest-toys-ever.html

THE MANGLOR MESS UP
http://hero-envy.blogspot.com/2013/10/the-manglor-mess-up.html

HULK OR HOLOCAUST
http://hero-envy.blogspot.com/2014/07/hulk-or-holocaust.html

THE TOP 10 GREATEST G.I. JOE FIGURES EVER
http://hero-envy.blogspot.com/2015/08/the-top-10-greatest-gi-joe-figures-ever.html

THE WRANGLING OF WRESTLEFEST
http://hero-envy.blogspot.com/2016/05/the-wrangling-of-wrestlefest.html

IN SEARCH OF THE "HOLY GRAIL" OF HULK

http://hero-envy.blogspot.com/2011/06/in-search-of-holy-grail-of-hulk.html

CAPTAIN ACTION
http://hero-envy.blogspot.com/2017/12/captain-action-first-and-greatest-super.html

MY TOP 10 GREATEST TOY LINES EVER

http://hero-envy.blogspot.com/2018/02/my-top-10-greatest-toy-lines-ever.html

THE INCREDIBLE HULK RAMPAGING ON MY MAIN STREET

https://hero-envy.blogspot.com/2021/05/the-incredible-hulk-rampaging-on-my.html

John Cimino

John Cimino is a Silver and Bronze Age comic, cartoon and memorabilia expert that runs a business called "Saturday Morning Collectibles." He buys, sells, appraises and gives seminars on everything pop culture, so if you got something special, let him know about it. He contributes articles to ALTER EGO, RETROFAN, BACK ISSUE and THE JACK KIRBY COLLECTOR from TwoMorrows Publishing, runs the Roy Thomas Appreciation Board on Facebook and has appeared on the AMC reality show Comic Book Men. He also represents some of comicdoms biggest stars and brings them to a Comic Con near you. John likes to think he's the real Captain Marvel, people just don't have the heart to tell him he's just an obsessed fanboy that loves to play superheroes with his daughter Bryn. Contact him at johnstretch@live.com or follow him on Instagram at megostretchhulk.

Friday, April 18, 2014

THE TOP 25 GREATEST SPIDER-MAN COVERS OF ALL TIME

THE TOP 25 GREATEST SPIDER-MAN
COVERS OF ALL TIME

John "THE MEGO STRETCH HULK" Cimino

SIMPLY AMAZING!

Let's face it, Spider-man is without a doubt one of the most popular superheroes ever created. Truth be told, he could well be "the" most popular. Why? Because he is so relatable to everyone. Yes, we know he's cool, has snappy banter and many of us can understand the teen-angst Peter Parker has to go through on a daily basis. But the most lovable thing about our little ol' wall-crawler is without a doubt his costume. Not only does Spidey have what is arguably the greatest fictional character costume ever, it's able to transcend all boundaries. Yup, it transcends all ages, all sexes, all nationalities, all cultures, all religions... everything. We relate to it because the costume covers his entire body and manages to capture our imagination on a subconscious level. We can almost instantly imagine ourselves in the suit swinging roof top to roof top. It is so iconic, that we just get drawn into it and it sticks in our heads... just like a web.

We can instantly recognize who Superman is, who Batman is, who Captain America is, and most heroes of lore because we can see who they are somewhat underneath the mask (if they even have one). But we can't see Peter Parker in the Spider-man outfit. Sure, you can't see other popular heroes like Iron Man, Spawn and the like, but Spidey was the first to really capture the pulse of the readers on a level that others couldn't. And let's be honest, as cool as those heroes look in their outfits, they don't scream "superhero" the way Spidey does.

Created by Stan Lee and Steve Ditko and debuting in Amazing Fantasy #15 (Aug. 1962), Spider-man quickly became the most popular hero of the Marvel-mythos. He captured the essence of what Marvel was trying to be -- "superheroes with problems." Sure, the Fantastic Four and the Hulk started the ball rolling with Stan Lee's ingenious idea, but none of them ever exemplified that role as well as Spider-man did. He was the standard, that's why he soon became the icon for the company.

With Spidey always looking super-heroically-cool, his comic books resembled the same magic. They always represented the "pulse" of the entire Marvel Universe and screamed jazzy superhero adventure that was fun for the whole family. And most importantly, Spidey always had perfect chemistry with just about every character he came across so it's no surprise that he's the face of the company.

Looking at Spidey's comic book covers or his appearances on covers always exemplified the meaning of super-heroic-fantasy and total nonstop action. He did it better than the Hulk, Captain America, Wolverine, the Avengers, the X-Men, Batman, the Justice League and even better than Superman (BANG!). Yup, Spidey showing up on comic covers are what I looked at to get my "Supa Dupa" fix as a kid. So in honor of that addiction, I present to you my 25 favorite Spider-man covers of my time and of all time. Some might surprise you, some won't. But either way, these are the covers that totally captivated my imagination as a kid and left a forever impression... Thwippp!!!

25.) MARVELS #4 (1994)

24.) MARVEL TEAM UP #93 (1980)

23.) THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #33 (1966)

22.) THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #1 (1963)

21.) TALES TO ASTONISH #57 (1964)

20.) THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #19 (1964)

19.) THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #161 (1976)

18.) THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #13 (1964)

17.) THE SAVAGE SUB-MARINER #69 (1974)

16.) CAPTAIN AMERICA #138 (1968)

15.) MARVEL TALES ANNUAL #1 (1964)

14.) THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN ANNUAL #2 (1965)

13.) MARVEL TEAM UP #11 (1973)

12.) THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN ANNUAL #1 (1964)

11.) AMAZING FANTASY #15 (1962)

10.) THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #119 (1973)

9.) THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #134 (1974)

8.) THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #135 (1974)

7.) MARVEL TREASURY EDITION #1 (1974)

6.) THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #121 (1973)

5.) THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #129 (1974)

4.) STRANGE TALES ANNUAL #2 (1963)

3.) THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #73 (1969)

2.) THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #123 (1973)

1.) THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #68 (1969)

Agree? Disagree? Let's hear it fanboys and let's see your lists!

Check out other Hero Envy "Top 25 Greatest Covers" Lists:

Superman
http://hero-envy.blogspot.com/2015/04/the-top-25-greatest-superman-covers-of.html

Hulk
http://hero-envy.blogspot.com/2017/08/the-top-25-greatest-hulk-covers-of-all.html

John Cimino

Sunday, December 1, 2013

THE TOP 5 GREATEST BATTLES OF THE JUGGERNAUT

THE TOP 5 GREATEST BATTLES OF

THE JUGGERNAUT

BY
John "THE MEGO STRETCH HULK" Cimino

JUGGERNAUT
Created by: Stan Lee and Jack Kirby First Appearance: X-MEN #12 (1965)

Cain Marko is a man with extreme anger issues and a thirst for vengeance that just won't quit. Most of this was learned from his abusive father and his jealously for his step-brother Charles Xavier. The power of the Juggernaut gave him the tools to fully utilize these feelings. By becoming indestructible and unstoppable, the roles are reversed. Everyone else is a victim and he is part of that force that no one can control. This compliments his tough demeanor that stemmed from his angry upbringing. If nothing can stop him, everyone and everything around him loses their intrinsic value. Human life means very little and so does anything they hold dear. This allows him to vent his anger with little regard of those he hurts, especially in a slugfest.

The character started reaching all new levels of popularity being associated with Wolverine and the X-Men that really started to explode in the 1990s. He now begins to feature more prominently in Marvel titles, as well as cartoons, toys, posters, video games and even being a major villain in the movie X-Men: The Last Stand (2006) and Deadpool 2 (2018). How could you not love this guy? Juggernaut is a big and nasty individual who gets what he wants, when he wants. He is one of the roughest and toughest men on the planet, who knew it and enjoyed it. So, in honor of our unstoppable friend, here are his 5 best slugfests that turned him into a fan-favorite and legend.

Like the big man says, "Nothing Stops the Juggernaut!" and nothing ever will...

5.) THUNDERBOLTS #153 (2011)

Writer: Jeff Parker Art: Kev Walker and Jason Gorder

This issue is a perfect example of who Cain Marko is at the heart and why he has become such a beloved cult character in the Marvel Universe. Yes, he is mostly known for his volatile and bullish ways, but he also looks out for those he cares about and will protect them in the face of adversity. And despite being de-powered in this issue from the full-power of Cyttorak, he is still tough as nails and someone who refuses to quit.

King Hyperion snags Songbird's and Moonstone's comlink (that has the ability to nullify each Thunderbolt with the press of a button) and this forces Juggernaut to save them from drowning. When he returns, Cain is pretty pissed off about the callousness what his supposed teammate just did. Then Hyperion presses the "J" button on the comlink for fun and watches Cain wither in pain. As Hyperion is about to fly off, Cain grabs his foot and smashes him to the ground. This angers King Hyperion as he begins to unmercifully pound on Cain to a bloody mess, breaking his helmet and knee in the process. But Cain was playing the whole Muhammad Ali "rope-a-dope" trick on Hyperion and when the King hit's him on top of his head and hurts his hand, Cain attacks back. Soon Hyperion gets really angry and uses his Nuclear Vision to burn Cain until Moonstone recovers and helps him out, saving his life. Then Ghost grabs the comlink collar and presses the "H" button and this causes the pain of Hyperion's weakness to Argonite to activate and render him helpless. Juggernaut, Ghost and Moonstone then proceed to beat the living hell out of him (see the picture above) and now showing fear, the Man-Thing steps in and burns him with his mystic touch... ouch.

4.) THE UNCANNY X-MEN #183 (1984)

Writer: Chris Claremont Art: John Romita Jr. and Dan Green

Back from his ordeal on Battleworld, Colossus has come to bring the hard news to Kitty Pryde that while he was gone, he fell in love with another. The revelation crushes Kitty; however she hides the hurt from him until she returns to the room she shares with Illyana. Both Illyana and Lockheed try to comfort her when she breaks down into tears.

At a bar in Manhattan, Wolverine tries to get Colossus to realize that his "romance" with Zsaji on Battleworld was not a relationship, and the two come to odds over Peter's true feelings for Kitty. During the conversation, Logan picks up the Juggernaut's scent and realizes that their old foe is drinking at the bar in his normal get up as Cain Marko. Not wishing for a fight to break out, Logan suggests that they leave. When Colossus decides to be difficult, the slightly drunk mutant stumbles and spills his drink on Cain.

Spoiling for a fight after his defeat at the hands of Spider-Man, Cain picks a fight with Colossus. As the fight rages, they trash the whole bar, but ultimately Cain wins knocking Colossus out with his "Sunday Punch". When the fight is over, Cain asks Wolverine and Nightcrawler if they wish to fight. Logan says no, and then he departs leaving money to pay for the damages (which was cool as hell). When they confront Colossus, he is angry with his friends for not helping. Logan points out that X-Men will help each other out for honor and sacrifice everything, like when Kitty was willing to marry Caliban so that the Morlocks would save his life. As he walks away Nightcrawler tells Wolverine he is unforgiving. However, Logan points out that Colossus needed to be taught a hard lesson about honor.

3.) THE INCREDIBLE HULK #172 (1974)

Writers: Roy Thomas, Tony Isabella and Steve Englehart Art: Herb Trimpe and Jack Abel

This was the issue that truly established Juggernaut as a Super-Heavyweight in the Marvel Universe. While he was always a dominant adversary against the X-Men, Juggernaut was rarely ever tested on a physical level. Enter the "Savage" Incredible Hulk; the standard of physical power in the Marvel Universe. This was a slugfest that would test Juggernaut's mettle and turn "Hulk vs Juggernaut" into a legendary rivalry.

Dr. Peter Corbeau calls Colonel Jack Armbruster after hearing about the Hulk's capture and tells him that he has a solution to ending the threat of the Hulk once and for all. Corbeau arrives just as the Hulk wakes up, and furious over his captivity goes on a rampage in his cell, shaking the entire base. Base scientists believe that the Hulk might be able to break out of his cell within two days, prompting Corbeau to work quickly. Coming up with a device to banish the Hulk in a space-time warp, he rolls in his new device and uses it on the Hulk, transporting him away to another realm. However, in doing so, Corbeau unwittingly releases the Juggernaut from his mystical exile and he begins trying to break out of the cell as well. In attempting to send the Juggernaut back, the machine malfunctions and send the Hulk back to Earth.

The Hulk is confused by the presence of the Juggernaut and he explains his origins. Finally free from his exile, the Juggernaut and the Hulk decide to work together to free themselves, and with their combined strength manage to bust out of their prison. The duo make short work of all the military force that is thrown at them by Armbruster. In the end both the Hulk and the Juggernaut manage to escape.

When the Juggernaut causes a car full of passing tourists crash, he decides to terrorized them. The Hulk, not wishing the innocent humans from being harmed tries to stop him, leading to a clash between the two. The two are evenly matched as they fight across the desert until the Hulk manages to grab the Juggernaut's helmet and spin him around so fast that it breaks loose sending the Juggernaut slamming into the side of a mountain. Confused by what happened the Hulk wanders off, but the Juggernaut is back up quickly and getting ready to attack the Hulk from behind. Before he can he is suddenly attacked by Professor X, Cyclops and Marvel Girl of the X-Men, who easily drop him telepathically now that his helmet is off. When Cyclops asks if they should go after the Hulk, the Professor tells him that they have to keep searching for the missing Angel, deciding to leave the tormented Hulk alone.

2.) THE MIGHTY THOR #429 (1991)

Writer: Tom DeFalco Art: Ron Frenz and Joe Sinnott

Juggernaut first fought Thor in the pages of The Mighty Thor #411 and 412 (1989). While that was a great battle in its own right, Thor was not up to full-strength due to suffering from a mysterious illness so the battle was inconclusive. Fans clamored for another confrontation between these two Super-Heavyweights without any excuses and this issue didn't disappoint. Was Mjolnir's magic greater than the magic of Cyttorak? "Thor vs Juggernaut" now entered the halls of the Marvel Universe and the debates would begin.

Thor agrees to help Prince Zalaski overthrow the Juggernaut who has taken over his empire. Thor eventually finds Juggernaut inside Zalaski's castle and attacks him. After a few tremendous blows with Mjolnir, Juggernaut's force field easily shrugs them all off. But after discovering the source of Juggernaut's powers, the Thunder God looks to even up the odds. He sends Mjolnir circling around the castle, cutting off Juggernaut’s mystical force field that constantly protects him from harm. Now only powered by his natural durability and Thor without the aid of his hammer, they would duke it out to see who was truly the superior.

Although both combatants seemed to be even in physical strength, Juggernaut is over-matched in hand-to-hand fighting skills as the Thunder God unmercifully batters into him. But to Cain's credit, he is as stubborn as a mule and will not quit and stay down. Before Thor can deliver the final blow, sixty seconds expire, and with Mjolnir’s return, Juggernaut’s force field is back. Now with a surprise attack, Juggernaut manages to separate Thor from his hammer as he tries to wield it to become truly unbeatable. But being unworthy, Juggernaut cannot hope to even budge the magical weapon. Thor then calls Mjolnir to his hand and uses it to send Juggernaut to an asteroid in deep space ridding Zalaski's empire of the menace once and for all.

1.) WORLD WAR HULK: X-MEN #2 and 3 (2007)

Writer: Christos Gage Art: Andrea Di Vito

"Hulk Vs Juggernaut" is one of the heaviest of Super-Heavyweight brawls you can have in the Marvel Universe (or in all of comics for that matter). While even Cain Marko himself has the utmost respect for the Green Goliath's strength and power, he is not above a city-leveling slugfest to prove that he is the more dominant force on the planet. But in the case of this famous brawl, Cain Marko is confronted by one of the most powerful incarnations of the Hulk known -- the anger-fueled "World War" Hulk! This would be Cain's greatest test and the results would turn him into an absolute legend.

Ever since Cain Marko refused the bidding of Cyttorak he became a de-powered Juggernaut. And now with a raging-mad Hulk bent on revenge to those who exiled him from Earth, he was beating up every X-Men in sight looking for Charles Xavier. Cain knows its up to him to try and stop the brute. Marko makes a plea to Cyttorak, to amp his powers back up, ostensibly so he can rescue his step-brother. But as Marko makes an all out attack on the Hulk, he ends up getting dropped into the action still at half-strength. The Hulk will pound on Marko unmercifully and decisively.

With the "World War" Hulk continuing to pummel the rest of the X-Men, Marko asks Cyttorak why he let him fight the Hulk at half-power. We learn that Cyttorak wants his avatar back to being vicious, and realizing on some level that's what Marko wants as well. Cain agrees to go back to being the one-true Juggernaut at full-power, armoring back up and charging at the Hulk for a battle of the century! The two behemoths go back and forth until they are in a deadlocked stand off pushing against the other. Soon Professor X comes running out and yells at the two brutes to stop their pushing match because the extreme force they are using is breaking the foundation of the school and it will collapse. The Hulk will take this moment of hesitation and sidestep Juggernaut who topples forward and gets and added push in the back which sends him running wildly into the bottom of a lake. When Juggernaut eventually returns, the Hulk is long gone and he is ashamed that he's back to his full-power knowing that it will cost him his new friendships within the ranks of the X-Men.